Out of the deepest, most insincere part of my crack, I made these FOUR New Zealand flags ESPECIALLY for YOU. Love it up!
FLAG OPTION 1
But wait John, there’s more!
Since you were benevolent enough to provide FOUR disgusting flag options for the people of your country to vote on … I figured I’d extend you the same discourtesy.
Now hold on to your balls, brother, there’s a massive, but incredibly FUN drop ahead. For your ego that is.
FLAG OPTION 2
But even MORE spectacularly unattractive.
So, which do you prefer so far?
ONE or TWO … so hard to choose … either way …. you pick … you lose…
… And we, the people of New Zealand know exactly how that feels given the options you supplied us with. Isn’t it artful, John?
FLAG OPTION 3
But steady your nerves, ‘cos the fourth and final flag is an extra special treat, John. It is by FAR my favourite. It’s so ugly … because it mirrors your true heart. And that’s what art and flags are all about, right?
FLAG OPTION 4
…YOURSELF! FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD TO BEHOLD!
And that’s the Key, isn’t it John? You’re high on an ego trip.
I can see you falling deeply in love with this flag, as I’m sure many of my fellow Kiwis will too.
This flag would be perfect hanging on your bedroom wall, don’t you think, John? Maybe on the ceiling, right above your bed.
Imagine waking up to that every morning, just as your country does. It’s no wonder we all love you so very much, isn’t it John?
Think of me as your social media friend with benefits